Hermit Ren (transcript)
Episode: Hermit Ren episode begins at the Cowhouse, Stimpy is playing an accordion. Stimpy: singing Someone's dying my lord! Kumbaya! Someone's dying my lord! A Kumbaya. faster then normal Oh lord! Someone's dying my lord! Kumbaya. cab stops offscreen Ren: offscreen Why don't you look where you going, you FOOL?!? the cab offscreen Hey lady, GET THAT DOG OFF OF MY LAWN! the dog and opens the door onscreen, the glass from a picture breaks and he pants, he's bored and looks at Stimpy. Stimpy: singing Someone's a la laaa! Jambalaya! faster then normal, Stimpy hums. Ren's eye twitches and then looks tired A la la laaa! La la laaaa! faster then normal Ma ma maaa! voice Ren, you're home! Did ya have a nice day at work? back has a knife and paper that says "Kick me" and he has a Pink slip in his hand Your dinner's in the- Ren: I'll, get it myself. off, Stimpy don't know the answer, he continues play accordion and walks off. Ren was open the oven and burny chicken are appeared and eats a burnt chicken and Ren was have a dust his mouth and mouth was on fire and starts screaming, Stimpy was very shocking, Stimpy grabs the milk and pour the rotten milk. Stimpy: Duh, I'm coming, Ren! drinks the rotten milk, he fully shocked, he spits all the rotten milk and he spit it all out. Ren: points to Stimpy YOU stay away from me! I... just... want to be... ALOOOOOOONE! offscreen, Stimpy looks at rotten milk then he drinks it. Ren was on the dirty bathroom. That's what I need is a good shave. was looking at the razor. Ren was angry and the face turns red as steam. Stimpy was hammering the picture. offscreen Where's my RAZOR?!?!? looks at the sharpen razor. Stimpy: Here, Ren! grabs the sharpen razor and shuts the door. Ren scars the sharpen razor on his chin and screams on pain. Ren opens the door and it has a skeleton on his chin. Ren: Why you... the accordion and he shocked. He tries to let the accordion go, Ren looks at TV, he looked at the phone was ringing and he looked at Stimpy picking his nose. Stimpy: Duhhhh... Ren: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I can't take anymore! I've had it with YOU! You and the whole world! I'm going... when I can be... ALONE... ONCE and for all, and I NEVER, COMING BACK!!!! the door, Stimpy looks at the door, The door opened, Ren's hand was throwing according on Stimpy's mouth, Ren slams the door. Stimpy look at the viewers. Fades to the mountain with Salesman (as the Hermit Union Worker) and Ren. Salesman: Now to be a perfectional hermit, Mr. Hoek. You need your very own private cave! Ren: Wow! Salesman: Now, remember the Hermit Union Rules. No sunlight... nods "yes". No bathing... nods "yes". And absolutely... NO FRIENDS! pets Ren Ren: Absolutely no problem with that, chief. Now if you don't mind, I'll be checking in. See ya, ever again. to the private cave. Salesman: Heh-heh. Enjoy... the button Loser. the cave, Fades to inside the hermit cave with Ren Ren: sighs Alone at last. walks No more annoyances, just peace and solitude. And best of all.... echoing NO STIMPYYY!!! voice Yep, doesn't get any better to this. Just a little bit refreshment of furniture and... HUH? looks at Mummified Bog Man A Mummified Bog Man! up the Bog Man Wow! Someone to talk to who can't talk back! Man falls down Whoops. picks up the Bog Man Well, Buddy, now that I'm finally alone, I'm gonna do all the things, I always want it to do. Like writing a novel. Clip my toenails. Build a gelding gin and I'm gonna scrape my uvula. Listen to our freaking franklin records and do it- to Cowhouse, Stimpy are on the kitchen. Stimpy: Duhhh... Duh, I wonder when Ren's coming home. He's gonna miss his dinner. has a burnt accordion and walks offscreen Duhhh... to the next month or the next or the next or the next or the next after that, and after that, This month was on January. The winter was a snowy day. Ren was put the rock up to the tower of rocks. Ren was stranded, and do nothing. It's got tic-tac-toes and sign says "Home sweet home". They got all the tower rocks. Ren stomach growling, Ren sighs and walks offscreen. Ren: I should go find some food. Hold the ford while I'm gone. and stomps on mud and looks at the Bats. Bat: Man, that coffee works. was imagining a bats turns to cow. Ren was drooling happily, Ren pulls the bat. The bat pulls off on Ren's hand and slaps Ren. Bat: What are you think you're DOING?!? I'm a MAN, not a cow! was dizzy. Ren gets up and imagines coaf into Oldman Farmer Hoek. Ren: Oldman Farmer Hoek. Oh father, I'm starving! What should I do? Oldman Farmer Hoek: Don't be a darn weak often, Boy! We hoek exclaimation us dinner or stuff. Why, would you love one is a natural corn scavenger! Ren: Yes? Oldman Farmer Hoek: Look around you, man! There's a wealth of sustenance before you. Spores. Lichen with fun guide to you. Entire herds on fleas, ticks and chiggers to raise and rich. Why, YOU can live like a king! was screeches happily like a monkey, Ren pull the Sporl out and Ren bites on Sporl fourth times and starts chewing it. Well, son, Gotta go! chuckles You didn't have any sense. disappears to Cowhouse, Stimpy was making ear germ to Ren Hoek. Stimpy tearing up and thinking, and Stimpy puts the spoon on his ear and pulls out the ear's germ and put on Ren, Stimpy kisses and hugs him, Stimpy sighs. Fades that night on Mountain, Ren was still stranded. No food and no water. Ticks are going out Ren's mouth and looks up when raindrops by. Ren was raising the hands and hands are melting and he made the skeleton hand. Ren looks at Mummified Bog Man and Ren shocked at Ren's face on Bog Man's body. Ren was frightened and he starts running and smash on mud and Ren was stopped by Mud. Bat: Man, gonna lay off can chinney in the company! Ren: Need... some... real.. the mud away COMPANY! Huh? as the mud and Ren hugs Stimpy. Oh at last, you're a real friend. Bog Man: What a bunch of mush. looks at Bog Man That's right. You heard me. rubs his eyes What are ya playing with dirt for? Ren: I just wanted some company. Bog Man: But, you're the own guest company. Ren: ME? Bog Man: That's right. YOU and your feelings. BEHOLD! Anger.... Fear... and Ignorance. Ren's Ignorance: Duhhhh... Ren: WOW! COMPANY! Let's have a party! Fear, Anger and Ren are playing BlackJack. Hey, how about the game of BlackJack! Ren's Anger: I hate games. Ren's Fear: Call 911! Ren's Ignorance: Duhh, I want a pretzel. Ren: Come on, guys. You'll have fun. Ren's Anger: I hate fun! Ren's Fear: This is gonna hurt! Ren's Ignorance: Duhh, go fish! Ren: Guys?!? Ignorance eats cards. HEY! You're trying to CHEAT! Ren's Anger: Yeah! Your whole life's a cheat! shivers Ren's Fear: He's a cheat! looks at the eyes Ren's Ignorance: Did somebody say cheese? offscreen, Ren covers his ears and the teeth chatters, hearing the people saying "CHEAT!" the he stand up and yells loudly STOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!! off his table Who... Who are you? You're not my friends! You're just pretending to be TRICK ME! So you steal all my stuff! Well, I'm on to ya! at Bog Man and rips the Bog Man's off. One false move till the MUMMY GETS IT!! I know all about your PLOT... you're all in this together.... his Bog Man's head and start aiming the imaginary friends. Each and every one of you. Sleeping on my gravel BED! Eatin' all my SAAAAAAND! Well, here's something you can REALLY have! HI-YA!!! smashes the Bog Man repeatedly on the coaf and shakes the screen, Ren stops and looks at the Jasper dressed up as Hermit Union Leader. Ren's Anger: Oh no! The Hermit Union Leader! Jasper: Alright, This is a bust! YOU! to Ren You broken the cardinal rule of Hermitude. Companionship. And what's with all these imaginary friends! You're violating the law. EXPOSED! YOU are officially kicked out of the Hermit Union!! to outside, Jasper ripped his beard off Ren. Jasper salutes Ren, Ren carrying mud Stimpy and walking to home. Jasper salutes, Ren's anger, fear and Ignorance salutes as well, Mummified Bog Man salutes too, Oldman Farmer Hoek salutes and Salesman salutes too and even bats salutes as well. Fades to Cowhouse, Ren looks at Cowhouse and he opens it. Stimpy: Giddyup, horsey! Giddyup! looks at Stimpy dressed up as a lady with Mud Ren. Ren! You're back! smiles Ren: So, I turned back for 10 years and you find yourself up for a chihuahua! was sad and gets an idea Stimpy: Ahem! But Ren. looks at Mud Stimpy Ren: Oh. chuckles Yeah, Sure. Well, it's great to be back, BUDDY! hugs Stimpy, Mud Ren and Mud Stimpy was winking at the viewers smiley and hugs together. The two iris was closing completely at the end of the episode. Category:Episode Transcripts